I'm pretty sure I fell in love with her a little bit in that moment. You know what I mean...starstruck by a leadership move that aligns with the vision you always wished was out there. Finally someone who acknowledged that spending pretty much my whole academic career and a few years living in Israel, all working on learning Hebrew wasn't a total waste of fucking time. (Ok, truth, she's also pretty adorably dykey looking with that shaved head that makes you wonder ;)
For those of you who don't live or work in the Jewish world, a quick background note. You can basically only get good jobs working in the Jewish community if you are Israeli, frum (Orthodox) or a rabbi. It took me a while to figure that out--hence the graduation from ran school at the ripe old age of 33...instead of 25, like some of my savvier colleagues (Isabel, Shayna) I know you were 26...blah dblah ;)
But I digress (Every fucking time...Mazel tov to those who are still reading. Email me at benmoscheproject at gmail dot com if you made it this far. Validate that insecurity of mine. Go ahead. You'll feel good about yourself, too. Plus it will get you an invitation to our parties 🎉!!)
So back to dancing my ass off. Today's topic. After talking about all the consulty rabbi crap I could do for camp, she tells me that the staff week is pretty planned out already. And I remember the other reason I'm here.
I need to get a small part-time job somewhere. Something I can do for a few hours a day, on a regular basis, out of my house. The kind of thing that I would feel bad about bailing on to stay in bed. i.e. planning to go for a walk in the park after bringing Ezra to the bus stop every morning didn't fucking cut it. My marching orders came from Taliba--my life saver/psychiatrist. I was starting some new meds which would hopefully help break up the two week long depression cycles I descended into every 4-7 weeks. I would happily keep most of my hypomania--I can seriously catch up on some Netflix and blogging on the nights when my body only sleeps for a couple of hours. At a recent session, I got a whole lot of "yes"es on her Adult ADHD screen and I became the proud owner of an actual legal Adderall script. I would not sell one single pill for all the money in the world. Probably helps that I don't need the money...but I have learned that I definitely need this medication.
So I say to Elana--well, do you have any open positions? I can't be a counselor. I'm definitely too old for that. And I am pretty sure that being a counselor in your own kid's bunk is a disaster for anyone.
So she says, well, we need someone for the office. Really the most important thing is that you're the smiling face and happy voice that our families encounter. Would you want to do that?
So she says, well, we need someone for the office. Really the most important thing is that you're the smiling face and happy voice that our families encounter. Would you want to do that?
Yeah, so I don't tell her at this point that I've only had a full-time job for one year of my life. 2000-2001. The Davis Academy in Atlanta, Georgia. For the middle school's Jewish studies department. For those of you confused about the seeming contradiction with statements made above about how I need to be Israeli, Orthodox or a rabbi to get a teaching job I should let you know that Davis is a Reform day school (reformim...chuckle all my frum friends) and I was hired in August. This is the "desperate for a warm body/any port in a storm/Hail Mary/Oh shit" move made by many people who hire staff, close their eyes and hope for the best.
And P.S.--teaching 6th, 7th and 8th graders is the opposite of a desk job. There was no fucking way I could sit at a desk all day.
Oops, did I say that out loud? (I would learn later that Elana walked away from that meeting hoping I would somehow say fuck less/NEVER in front of children...and most parents ;)
We also have an opening in the bishul (cooking) staff, she says optimistically.
I think they heard that guffaw all the way in NYC. I can hear my mom's favorite story in my head. Nehama, I told you how to make the matzah balls, but do you know how to make soup, honey?
Seriously Mom? Boil some water and throw some bouillon cubes in. How hard is that?
Umm, anything else Elana? I'm cringing...literally, at this point.
We need a Rosh Rikud, she says. I mean, who says that job should always go to one of the Israelis? I'd rather use one of the Israeli staff somewhere more useful, honestly.
And that's when it happened. This light turned on inside of me. I'm pretty sure I said--now that sounds like an awesome fucking job, but sadly I don't actually know any of the dances. But I love the idea. So she says, 20 year old Israelis don't know them either. I'll set you up with RakDan and we will send you the videos from the last few years.
I haven't blogged all summer because I have been so busy. Dancing my ass off. I loved it so much. It just kept getting better.
I blew my Fitbit and Apple Watch out of the water. I sweat several gallons a day. I was outside. I was listening to fun music and dancing with these awesome kids who were totally learning and loving dances. I met all of these amazing staff members and even came away with a couple of folks who I would now consider friends.
Reality check. And sometimes the kids didn't listen. And sometimes I was so tired I couldn't move. And one day I got so annoyed at the kids who wouldn't stop messing with and sitting on a broken picnic table that I had my little inner Hercules moment and flipped the whole thing over so they couldn't sit at it. And a few minutes later one of the kids walked off to look at the ants and worms from under the place the legs of the table had been. That day was really special.
It was real life.
I haven't been able to participate in real life for a long time. That's for a different post. This one is just about appreciating and honoring that I found something to love. It connected me back to the Jewish work that I burned out from after 2 decades.
I haven't been able to participate in real life for a long time. That's for a different post. This one is just about appreciating and honoring that I found something to love. It connected me back to the Jewish work that I burned out from after 2 decades.
And now I understand Eliyashu better than before. Ramah is my favorite part of my year now, too. And I can't wait til kayitz (summer) comes again.
I drank the kool-aid, and it turned out to be the nectar of the gods that I don't believe in.